A Tribute

Watchmen(2009) will suck.

2008-10-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

I say this with reason. Specifically, this:

That's the only smiley in the entire trailer. And that's the absolute last frame.

Go Zack Snyder!

How insults from teachers changes...

2008-07-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

...as one grows older.

Class 2 "You're a bad boy."
Class 5 "You're a naughty boy."
Class 8 "You're a useless fellow"
Class 10 "You're a notorious character"
Class 12 "You're bad company"
College IIIyr "You're the black sheep"

"The Greatest Movie Quotes You've Never Heard Of, or Don't Want To Been Seen Talking About in Public!"

2008-06-30T06:11:00.000-07:00

How often one does see a bad movie? These days, very. But sometimes, every now and then, even in the most nauseating of films, we come across a few gems of such clarity and sharpness, that they leave us stunned. They can inspire us, fill us with pride and veneration, leave us smiling, or simply give us something to talk about later. Without further ado, presenting to you:

"The Greatest Movie Quotes You've Never Heard Of, or Don't Want To Been Seen Talking About in Public!"

Obviously, this is too great a task for one man, so I implore you, please contribute qoutes that YOU think should be on this list. Leave it as a comment, and i shall add it to the list ASAP. Who knows, I might even create a wiki for this thing.

“What a man!”- Padayappa

“Live Free, Die Well” – Scorpion King

“Ek Chai Lao” – Sarkar Raj

“Nenu okka psycho, nenu okka sadist” – Bommarillu

"A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers" - Hottie and the Nottie

"Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy! And... we shall have peace." - Star Wars, Episode III

Russia, Win? Arshavin!

2008-06-26T00:34:00.000-07:00

There's a construction company i saw the ad of recently, Aliens. I was wondering how they could have such a shitty name, until i saw their tagline:

Intelligent Living

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A pearl from ESPN-Star's face of football John Dykes, on the disruption of transmission during the Germany-Turkey Euro2008 Semifinal:

"...It seems they've had a lightning strike there...Its obviously a meteorological phenomenon, mind you, as opposed to a large group of people striking...very quickly"

Happy!

2008-05-25T08:32:00.001-07:00

To everyone out there, happy Towel Day, Geek Pride Day and Universal Day of the Jedi!!!!!!

Check out http://www.thinkgeek.com for cool gifting options.

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Seen on a hoarding advertising draught beer at a local bar: "Demand Draught!"

Alert!

2008-05-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

BITSAT 2008 Alert:
It's that time of the year again, with kids just getting done with the hassles of entrance exams, and beginning to face the hassles of admissions. Keeping this in mind, not to forget the extreme pressure on the aforementioned kids' parents, I am starting a counselling service titled "Most Excellent BITS Admission Help", where you(parents AND kids) can ask questions related to BITS, that you cant ask the excellent people at BITS itself. Yes, I mean stuff like enquiries about toilet habits of BITSians, housing facilities for BITSians, and whether they are in accordance with the Geneva Convention Guidelines (Speaking of which, I am reminded of the most-asked-about topic, ragging. Which doesn't happen, of course.), Dressing options for summer/winter and other fashion advice, and tips on how to travel light, among many others. I shall even address queries about doubts related to academically significant topics such as advantages of a relative grading system, the IQ-CGPA bell curve (which isn't usually discussed,revealed even, by most colleges.) among others.

Contact +919246214361 for details. Consultation charges negotiable, and so is the mode of payment.

PS. Asking for academic advice on Orkut is a bad idea. Besides, its mostly just peadophiles left on orkut now.

PSS. This post is not meant to hurt anybody's sentiments by not being meant to be read by those whose sentiments might be at risk of being hurt.

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On the momentous occassion of the Approximately-8-Months Anniversary of Being Honoured With The Honour of Being Made An Adjective, comments have been re-allowed on the blog. Celebrate!

Cyrpticorifislit

2008-05-21T02:00:00.000-07:00

Artist: Senthil
Genre:
Blackened Funeral Doom Metal

Lyrical themes: murder, hatred, darkness
Origin: United States of America (Texas)
Formed in: 2005

Current line-up
Plague
Vomit
Former/past member(s)
Wretch - Guitars (R.I.P.)

Notes:
The first 15 copies are stained with the band members' blood.

While recording vocals, the members intermittently strangled themselves with
chains.

Song List:
1. Crypticorifislit 26:55

A lot of screaming, then the voice of a guy abusing someone in an unknown language, then sound of the man beating up a woman, followed by the woman crying and moaning. ALL this rounded off with some more screaming.

CAPTCHA!

2008-05-20T09:32:00.002-07:00

What the fuck?!? There's got to be an easier way to prove you human than identifying which character's got a pussycat behind it...

I'm sure this thing works by just dissuading fake humans from trying. I passed this kind of test twice, and i'm still not convinced i got the right letters both times.

I Missed His Book, But I Read His Name

2008-04-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

I Missed His Book, But I Read His Name

Though authors are a dreadful clan
To be avoided if you can,
I'd like to meet the Indian,
M. Anantanarayanan.

I picture him as short and tan.
We'd meet, perhaps, in Hindustan.
I'd say, with admirable elan ,
"Ah, Anantanarayanan --

I've heard of you. The Times once ran
A notice on your novel, an
Unusual tale of God and Man."
And Anantanarayanan

Would seat me on a lush divan
And read his name -- that sumptuous span
Of 'a's and 'n's more lovely than
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan" --

Aloud to me all day. I plan
Henceforth to be an ardent fan
of Anantanarayanan --
M. Anantanarayanan.

-- John Updike

For Posterity

2008-04-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

I'm PS co-instructor!!Here's the essay i wrote for the same.. Copy and save for posterity.

Application for post of PS-1 Co-Instructor

My experience in Practice School-1 in the summer of 2007 was a highly educational and productive one. Practice School-1 gave me a chance to understand the functioning of a professional institution and allowed me to do a project in a real-life work environment, which is a refreshing change from classroom oriented teaching. This is a unique opportunity available exclusively to students of our institution.

During the course of PS-1, I found that the Instructor and Co-Instructor play an essential role in the smooth running of the program. Right from helping students choose projects that may be relevant to their field of interest, to making sure that the experience is productive for the student and ensuring that the organisation is satisfied with the work done by the student, the Instructor and Co-instructors are involved in every step.

Hence I would like to contribute to this rewarding program in the role of a student Co-Instructor. I can use my experience in PS-1 to help students who will be doing their PS-1 program this summer. I will make sure that the students find the PS-1 an enjoyable, yet constructive experience. From a personal point of view, I am looking forward to an enriching experience that can help me in my professional life.

Name: Vivek Krishnan
ID. No: 2005B5A4572

Armageddon sex

2008-03-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

Armageddon sex:

1. Mount passing meteor is space
2. Position yourself such that penis is facing planet in picture.
3. Aim towards orifice penis is to be inserted into.
4. Die during single-stroke liquefying orgasm.

Someone suggested that orgasms don't kill. Well, that may be true, but when you're crushed by a crashing meteor, you don't tend to stay solid and 3 dimensional for long.

Result of cricket match

2008-03-16T04:27:00.001-07:00

This came as a root mail on the BITS server on 28 Jan 2008.

Youth overpowers experience

Good old saying " There is no substitute to experience" took a backseat at
least during the maiden cricket match between teams of girls students and
female faculty and staff wives of the institute held on auspicious occasion
of republic day.
Amid a gloomy afternoon, the spirit of the two teams was worth appreciating
right from the begining. Teams showed their commitment toward a serious
affair by having a full round of the ground before the start of the match.
Contrary to the fears of the organizers to have full strength teams, infact
the number on both the sides was more than required and some deserving ones
perhaps surely had to miss their chance atleast this time.
Anyhow, coin of toss was aired by Prof. M. M. S. Anand and call from
Sangeeta Sharma came as Heads. Toss won by female faculty members team and
clearly opted for batting first. One thing perhaps, which Sangeeta could
not foresee about the pitch and the prevailing conditions was the amount of
swing the girls team bowlers could get with the new ball in their hands.
Result – with the passage of just 4 odd overs only, about half of the
Faculty team was back in pavilion with not much runs on the board. Swing
from the girls bowlers was perhaps so much that they themselves were
finding it difficult to control. That is the reason, that in the beginning
a major chunk of runs in the beginning overs came from just wides and no
balls only. Batters like Ponam Gayal, Usha Manjunath, and Sangeeta Sharma
herself tried to put some resistance by holding the fort for sometime and
then scoring some runs as well. But it was a day for bowlers like Nikita
for Girls team who took a gem of a catch of Mrs. Gurunarayanan, while
diving to her right. When at one moment of time, it was started being felt
that match is going to be one sided only, here came Pushp Lata with her
flawless and shackles free batting. She scored 33 runs not out with help of
2 sixers and 4 fours. Pushp Lata not only scored some important runs for
her team, but also helped in raising the run rate. At the other end, she
could get able support from Poonam Vyas, Amrata Pancholi and Ruchika Sharma
in the last few overs. So, amid tidy 10 overs from girls team, faculty team
managed to score 76 / 8 from 10 overs with a very healthy looking run rate
of 7.6 runs per over. From girls side Nikita and Neha were pick of the
bowlers who took 3 and 2 wickets respectively.
What happened next was perhaps in nobody's imagination over there. First over from faculty side by Sangeeta Sharma brought a big ray of hope for
them as first wicket down on zero itself for girls. But next came batter
Harini had a string of fours and sixes to her credit. Girls team skipper
Vinitha was also not at all in a pity mood and hit a strings of three
sixers. Nikita who contributed immensely with bowl earlier came handy with
her batting as well and hit 3 sixers and 3 fours. In the 5th over itself,
crowd of more than 100 people present over there at the C – lawns could get
an idea about the favourites from there onwards. Girls team finished the
match in the sixth over itself. Blistering knocks helped them in sealing a
well deserved victory and make a statement that future of the country lies
safely in the hands of today's youth not only in terms of technology and
education , but also with games like cricket as well.
Prof. Raghurama handed over a VIRTUAL TROPHY to the winning captain in the
presentation held later. Pushp Lata was declared batter of the match and
she gave the credit of her splendid batting performance to the immense
support to her other team members. Nikita from girls team was declared
unanimously player of the match and also the catcher of the match. Nikita
thanked her friends to help her revealing her cricketing skills in the
presentation ceremony held later.
Final results :
Girls team won by 9 wickets with about 3.2 over to go .

for
Staff Association

ciao,
vivek

FUUUUUUCK!

2008-02-21T07:50:00.001-08:00

FUCK!

What Mace Windu should have done:

2007-12-30T03:24:00.000-08:00

This IS the Definition Of Rambling!

2007-12-18T05:42:00.000-08:00

No, Really. It is!

ram·bling
adj.
1. Often or habitually roaming; wandering.
2. Extended over an irregular area; sprawling: a large rambling country estate.
3. Lengthy and digressive: a rambling speech.

\m/

Good Jokes in Poor Taste

2007-12-01T12:38:00.000-08:00

I just realised my penis is communist. It tends to incline towards the left.I am truly ashamed.

The Day The Earth Shook

2007-11-25T15:21:00.000-08:00

26th November 2007: I felt my first earthquake. This one shall go down in the books.

P.S: Only a Gujju can find nothing unusual with the earth shaking.

Kingdom Came!

2007-09-13T12:57:00.002-07:00

I've decided to start a new religion.

The salient features of this religion are:
1. It deals with the ever popular question of god and his existance.
2. It offers a new way of living.
3. It finely incorporates several good aspects of several other religions.
4. It suggests a new,alternative path towards enlightenment/nirvana.
5. It features an all-new improved prayer/delivery System
6. It has a clear demarcation between sacred and profane.
7. It will have a cool name, as well as a cool logo.
8. The new religion works on the "Dynamic Fare" system, which means, the quicker you convert, the lesser you pay.

WATCH THIS SPACE FOR MORE.

Political Sciences I

2007-08-14T17:39:00.001-07:00

Q: Why do communists make bad dancers?

A: They have two left feet.

Elseworld- Spiderman:Spiders on Crack

2007-07-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

courtesy: Nitish

For The Family

2007-07-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

Revelations of Maharshi Starjey:

" Henceforth, this shall be your anthem, and you shall claim nothing else to be your anthem:

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana
Jack got high and dropped his fly and said, "Do you wanna?"
Jill said yes and pulled her dress and then they had some fun
Silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

"

Official Sponsor of the Maharshi Revelation: Shiva's Regal ( as revealed, yet again, by the Maharshi himself)

2007-07-20T03:28:00.000-07:00

I don't want the girl of my life to be mind-blowing.. atleast, not just my mind.

Please read the Mango Indian blog. It's insane.

Die Hard 4.0 : Movie Review

2007-07-17T23:40:00.000-07:00

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD

With soaring ticket prices (and a residual (read:great) unwillingness to spend more than a 2 digit figure(read:Rs.60) on movie tickets), I went and watch the movie in what i consider to be the true home of the action movie genre in Hyderabad : Sterling/Skyline. I am a die-hard (i thank you) fan of Bruce Willis (Runs in the family. My mom made me watch Die Hard 1..).

And I wasn't disappointed. It was too good, to say the least. Blatant machismo, more real cars broken than computer-generated ones, hero taking a beating yet manages to look brave, (let alone un-mangled), all the ingredients required to make a boy a worshipper ( Not that John McLane needs more worshipping).

But one thing that struck me strongly was the marked change in John McLane's character in this movie. I found him quite similar to the (famous) hero of another great work of art(one of the finest in its field), The Dark Knight Returns. Both of them are aged, weary of the world, forgotten/mythical. Both acknowledge the fact that in the present situation, they're indespensible, yet would not mind passing on the mantle to someone else.

What to look out for: John McLane beating the crap out of Mai Lihn(Maggie Q), the kung-fu bitch. Awesome stuff.
Also the scene where McLane brings down a chopper using a car... WOW!!

Disclaimer: This is an action movie. Keep that in mind. I've already mentioned that you need to be able to accept divine intervention (aka sheer luck) as part of everyday life. Also acknowledge the fact that the hero IS actually capable of doing things which many may consider impossible.

P.S: In case you're wondering why I didn't mention Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherfucker, this is why.

Coming Soon: My take on Harry Potter and more on the similarities between John McLane and Batman. (Yes, Bruce IS one of them)

Sandman: A Career in Dreams

2007-07-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to Neelu, (who, incidentally, totally dislikes certain brands of dishwashing liquid.)

When I was a kid, my soft brain was in the caring, tender and experienced hands of the G.I. Joe. So, between ages 6-10, i wanted to become a death-defying, all-destroying, everything-killing soldier...

After a huge void in my memory(filled with flashes of topping a class, mingling with maadu boys, sickness and self discovery(if you know what i mean)), i come to my early adolescent years, aged 14-15, when, according to me, the greatest job was that of a pimp's. I could see clearly in my mind's eye, entire days spent in an "epileptic fit" -like state of mind(if you know what i mean).

Then comes an example of the famous medical phenomenon of "IIT coaching memory vacuum", where there exists a two year large gap in the memory. Beyond that lies a new world, a world of hope. Living in hope that there will be a day when pornography is not treated as taboo and pornstars are actually respected members of society.

But until that day comes, which is not too far away, i must stick to dreaming almost every boy's ultimate dream: The Big Red 'S'

PS. The title means nothing.. Just shows that the first word that comes to my mind when the hear/see the word dream, is the word Sandman.

Wonder, my ass!

2007-07-09T01:15:00.000-07:00

What?? Christ Redeemer has been voted as a New Wonder of the World. What is wrong with this world? I always thought a wonder was supposed to amaze you, fill you with awe, and invoke feelings of humility, accompanied by those of love or pride or happiness or mystery and make you appreciate human effort/talent/skill. What do we get instead? a 30 foot concrete statue, in touristy, internet- and telephone and television- crazy Brazil (Rio to be precise). Good Siht!
And Chichen Itza? In Rachit's words, " Some cheap pyramid, doesnt deserve it"

My list of Wonders:
1. Taj Mahal
2. Hagia Sofia
3. Angkor Wat
4. Great Wall of China
5. Macchu Picchu
6. Eiffel Tower
7.Moai, Easter Island/ Stonehenge